Phase II
After hearing the news that the second look surgery was clear of cancer it is truly an amazing feeling. Thrilled, scared, and looking forward to each day not having to go through the Chemotherapy regimen, trying not to focus if it would it come back. In thinking back at that day in August 2010 it was so over whelming to hear those words that words to describe it escape me.
I have read that cancer diagnoses have changed people’s lives, well that is certainly true. When I received my diagnosis it gave me a number of opportunities, gifts if you will. It allowed me or forced me to think about what is important to me, what is important to me going forward. How do I want to life my life as we all only get one, and how do I want to approach this challenge in my life. I had made the decision in the hospital that I would not let my cancer diagnosis define me or limit me. That my job is to listen to the doctors and nurses, educated myself on what is going on with me and not read everything out there about my illness as it may not be up to date and it could distract me negatively, which I will not allow. That I will do what I want when I can and have learned to accept help when I can’t do what I want… That last part I still work on today…
With each treatment I went into I bring a confident, positive attitude that the chemo agents are doing what they are suppose to, didn’t doubt it. I did what I had to do to get through each cycle. From managing the side affects which like I side in Phase 1 where challenging some days. Thanks to Lynn we were able to stay pretty on top of them. I can honestly say I have many more good, fun, happy days than not. Even when I am tired and laying around I laugh, smile and enjoy those around me. I have WONDERFUL support from Lynn, Meghan (my daughter), my mom, sisters and brothers plus extended family and friends that the list can go on and on… I am truly blessed and grateful for all that they have done and do for me each day.
I started with my follow up appointments in September 2010 and my blood levels looked good. My CA-125 crept up a bit but that is not unusual right after chemotherapy, which my last one was in August.
I was feeling stronger, though there are many things I still can’t do right now strength wise so I rely on others… Not a bad lesson to learn, to accept help from others openly and willingly.
In October 2010 I really noticed my hair is growing back. It is coming back pure white and fine like baby hair. Looks cool, I think it is about 1/8th of an inch all over my head and I should get it cut to even it out… I think by Thanksgiving or definitely by Christmas I can go without a wrap on my head… Lynn and I took a trip to Scottsdale AZ for a weeks vacation in warm weather were we could do what ever we wanted even if it was just to sit by a pool and read all day drinking whatever came to mind… Meghan wanted us to schedule it around her college schedule so she could come too… We knew this type of vacation would be very boring to Megs who likes to be busy each moment. We figured out Megs would have enjoyed the Hot Air Balloon Ride (Not getting up at 5am though), shopping in Scottsdale, the Pink Jeep Ride in Sedona and a day hanging at the pool… Maybe a total of 3 days out of 7… The other days would be what are we going to do today, just sit around and read…. YEP it was a wonderful vacation…
In November 2010 my CA-125 numbers crept up again… Not making me happy at this point. They were not doubling just creeping up. We spoke with the doctor about what options there were to help determine if my number increase was me leveling off or was something else going on. We did an MRI, which showed nothing going on. Cool… Maybe just leveling off, time to get ready for the holidays… My hair now has waves in it, which look really nice, and I have not had that type of body in my hair in like forever… This year is our 1st Thanksgiving being home in like 10 years… Meghan and my niece Katie are Irish Dancers and a group of us would travel to Philadelphia, PA for a regional competition each Thanksgiving. There are a lot of fun memories over those years spending time with my sister Barb, Katie, Megs, Mom, Lynn and anyone else who would join us. It was wonderful this year to eat dinner at home with family than at the Marriott…
In December 2010 my CA-125 numbers crept up again… Damn… Again not doubling just creeping up. We again spoke of what options where there to determine what was going on… We decided to do a 3rd look via laparoscopic surgery of the abdomen to see what was going on. It was done on New Years Eve… Yes I did not stay awake to midnight to ring in the New Year 2011 I was sleeping… The surgery looked good, the inflammation that was present in my abdomen in the August surgery was healing, and the lymph nods were shrinking everything visually looked good, clear and positive. We set my follow up appointment the 2nd week in January 2011 to review the pathology reports from the 3rd look surgery.
Of course when my follow up appointment came I came down with the flu. So I had to reschedule this appointment for the next week. Besides getting over the flu, I was feeling really good. Two doctors came into my exam room to discuss the results of my 3rd look surgery. The surgery looked good and positive, the pathology however not so much… It came back positive for cancer at the cellular level, meaning there are no symptoms of cancer being back except the C-125 creeping up; is it trying to re-establish itself? DAMN, not what you want to hear. The positive is I am not symptomatic and it is at the cellular level. The one doctor said in Europe they do not do anything until a patient is symptomatic. We want to be more aggressive then that as I am 51 and other than this one hiccup (Peritoneal Cancer) I am healthy. So on to phase 2 what is next…
1 comment:
Thanks for posting the info about your blog on facebook's Teal Warriors. I have just started reading what you have written and want to urge you to continue sharing your story. I'll check back often.
Dee
DX 2005 OC
Women of Teal Blog
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